GETTING MARRIED IS EASY, GETTING DIVORCED IS HARD; AND POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO THIS!
© Anne E. Freed, February 2026
Dear Readers,
Getting married is easy; Getting divorced is hard, as those who have undergone these experiences will attest to!
I have long reflected on this contrast. I see these over-the-top weddings, and magical fairytale weddings happening frequently – especially in June.
The statistics are that approximately 50% of people divorce. As such, 50% of those participating in their fairytale weddings will get divorced!
I also think about the sadly large statistics on family violence occurring in marriages and common law relationships. I reflect on: How many of these people had fairytale weddings?
In my 40-year career as a Family Lawyer and Mediator, I have been and remain convinced that a fundamental key to a good marriage is very good communication skills utilized between the parties.
I wonder how well Jane and Bob (fictional names of course!) – who just had a fancy, fairytale wedding – communicated, and/or learned to communicate effectively, before their marriage?
By communication, I mean not just the wonderful exchanges between Jane and Bob when in the throes of first love and passion, but, most importantly, how will Jane and Bob communicate when times get tough, and when problems and challenges, inevitably, will occur?
It’s extremely easy to get married in Ontario.
On the other hand, as those who have experienced Divorce know, it is difficult, and often a lengthy, expensive and frustrating battle – both financially and emotionally – to get divorced.
In my view, it would be a great idea and important, for couples – before they marry or move in together – to have sessions with a marriage counsellor prior to embarking on this hugely important step.
Sessions with an excellent communications specialist or therapist could go a long way to help couples ‘set the table’ for a good marriage.
I wonder if – instead of engaging in the huge cost of the over-the-top marriage celebrations we see today – parties would instead invest these funds in good counselling before they marry?
Another safeguard would be the negotiation between Jane and Bob of a Marriage Contract[1] or Cohabitation Agreement before embarking on the road of marital bliss. In such a Contract, Jane and Bob could discuss anything, including how they will deal with disputes and differences as they come up. The Contract could also include what they would want to see happen if the parties separate or divorce.
Although these discussions will not be easy, they will be a ‘reality check’ and may well assist Jane and Bob to establish the beginning of – or refinement of – an honest, thoughtful and comprehensive communication that will stand them in good stead on the challenging road ahead.
Feel free to contact me to inquire about my Mediation services, in helping parties negotiate their Marriage Contracts or Cohabitation Agreement.
Until next time!
Anne
Anne Freed holds a BA (Honours Sociology), JD (Juris Doctor, Law Degree), Master of Laws Degree (LL.M.) in Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR), Advanced Training in Mediation, Arbitration and Collaborative Practice, Certification in Collaborative Practice, as well as over 38 years’ experience in the practice of Family Law, Mediation and Arbitration. Anne is also a Certified Specialist in Family Mediation (FDRP Med) and an OAFM Accredited Family Mediator (AccFM).
© Anne E. Freed, February 2026
416-368-0700
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[1] “Prenup” in the U.S.